Histomat: Adventures in Historical Materialism

'Historical materialism is the theory of the proletarian revolution.' Georg Luk√°cs

Sunday, September 10, 2006

All hail the triumph of Blairism!

'Mine is the first generation able to contemplate the possibility that we may live our entire lives without going to war or sending our children to war. That is a prize beyond value'

Tony Blair, May 1997

'The [Human Rights] Bill marks a major step forward...it stands alongside our decision to put the promotion of human rights at the forefront of our foreign policy'

Tony Blair, October 1997.

'Labour has no plans to introduce tuition fees for higher education'

Tony Blair, April 1997.

Remember how excited you were when Tony Blair came into power in 1997? The hope, the optimism, the sense of expectation that at last New Labour had triumphed? No? Well, don't worry as the Government are on hand to help the more forgetful among you - or perhaps those who were unfortunately too young to remember not only the dark years Before Blair.(B.B.) but also the glorious early Years of the Blair Revolution.

The Party's memo 'Reconnecting with the public - a new relationship with the media' has doubtless drawn the usual sniping from the enemies of the Party, but I feel that it is a fitting way for our Dear Leader to depart - if indeed He really has to go. The Party's memo calls for a rebirth of the spirit of Year Zero and the final glorious victory of the Blair Revolution over its enemies:

'His genuine legacy is not the delivery, important though that is, but the dominance of new Labour ideas...the triumph of Blairism.'

Comrades we have not only just delivered on the targets set by the Party's Plans, but the end of the ideological struggle is in sight! The hegemony of New Labour ideas over society has been achieved! All hail the final and irrevocable victory of Blairism in One Country!

The memo continues, rightly proud of the achivements of Our Dear Leader: 'As TB enters his final phase he needs to be focusing way beyond the finishing line, not looking at it. He needs to go with the crowds wanting more. He should be the star who won't even play that last encore. In moving towards the end he must focus on the future.'

How noble is Our Dear Leader? To put aside all talk of say, relaxing to write his memoirs and then selling them off to the highest bidder for millions but instead to focus on helping the Party prepare for the difficult future After Blair (A.B.)?

The memo talks of how the Party can remind the people of what has been achieved by the Blair Revolution, but also the challenges that remain: 'As much as possible a farewell tour, looking to the future, making sure the party is in the right place and the public remember him as he should be. He needs to embrace open spaces, the arts and businesses, he needs to be seen to be travelling on different forms of transport. He needs to be seen with people who will raise eyebrows. He needs to travel around the UK to be carefully positioned as someone who while not above politics, is certainly distancing himself from the political village. He should be dropping references in all that he does which reflect his energy and enthusiasm.'

Wonderful! Wonderful! But what of the Party's enemies - the Islamo-Trotskyist-Fascist wreckers who still remain skulking in our midsts, still bitter about things like the Party's interventions in Iraq and Afghanistan (which lets not forget happened long ago in the past and in countries after all which are very far away).

Here the memo is at its most defiant about the Party's achievements in bringing about a stable and orderly transition to democracy. While the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocent people remain 'the elephant in the room,' the Party memo argues 'let's face up to it.' After all, the Party's mission was accomplished, wasn't it? Weren't the totalitarian rulers of those countries defeated? Histomat calls on those of its readers who can make it to the last Party Conference under Our Dear Leader Tony Blair to join what I expect will be a huge historic spontaneous gathering of the People to hail the all conquering Hero.

The details of the coming Party Conference are below:
Saturday 23rd September - Manchester. Coaches are already being booked from across the country thanks to these friendly people so don't miss the chance to be able to tell your grandchildren that you did your bit in the historic farewell celebrations. Lets all come together to give Tony Blair the send-off he deserves.



At 11:29 pm, Blogger Unknown said...

Great post. Hopefully we can give him a right old send off here in Manchester!


Post a Comment

<< Home