Advertisement: The Blair School of Government

To become an exceptional political leader in a rapidly changing world, you need exceptional qualifications. Welcome to the Blair School of Government.

Our flexible 12 month programme provides all the academic rigour you should expect from a top-tier programme in Government. As an institution we pride ourselves on our intellectual independence - after all, couldn't our founder, Anthony Charles Lynton Blair himself always be proud of his intellectual independence when it came to making policy? As well as having the opportunity to study in the heart of the city of London, by the end of your study at the Blair School of Government you will have developed a deeper understanding of:

1) How to win trust in the British political system from the wider public - and how to make politicians one of the most loved and respected of all professions.

2) How to develop a foreign policy that will enable Britain to become widely respected around the world - and make British people who travel abroad some of the most loved and welcomed of all people.

3) How to encourage a 'public service ethos' among workers in public services such as the National Health Service that will make our public services the envy of private companies like, to pick one completely at random, German company DHL.

4) How to develop outstanding oratorical skills which gather crowds wherever one goes and bring them to their feet shouting: 'Go Blair!' 'Go Blair!'

5) How as a leader you can build up a close-knit team of professionals around you so that there is not only an orderly and stable transition when you depart, but you leave with your Party stronger and more popular than before.

Qualifications needed for the postgraduate programme at the Blair School of Government: A previous degree, preferably in business management or some sort of military background. It goes without saying that those with a social conscience - or an interest in bringing murderous international war criminals to account - need not apply.