The Victory of Democracy

British children celebrating Comrade Brown's election triumph

Comrades! This is a glorious day for democracy, and for Democratic Socialism! Comrade Brown has been elected the new leader of the Labour Party with a staggering 104% of the vote, in a record turnout! Comrade Brown was naturally unopposed, as has long been the tradition of the Party when it comes to leadership elections. Our new beloved Leader, responsible, let us not forget, for such fine achievements as the development of the Workers' nuclear missile defence programme (Trident) and the Party's industrialisation programme, which has brought such widespread prosperity to the British people, is humble to the last about his victory and has decided to travel around the country to 'listen and learn' from the People. Already one group of loyal citizens is organising to make sure that Comrade Brown gets the reception from the grateful People he deserves! Everyone who can should come and meet the new Leader of the Party, the new Leader of the People as he passionately explains his programme of Democratic Socialism for the years ahead. Comrade Brown will be in COVENTRY (20 May), BRISTOL (26 May), BRADFORD (27 May), LEICESTER (30 May), GLASGOW (2 June), NEWCASTLE (3 June), LONDON (6 June), CARDIFF (9 June), OXFORD (10 June), LONDON (16 June), before ending his grand tour in MANCHESTER on Sunday 24 June.
All hail Comrade Brown and his victory!
Long live the Democratic Socialist Revolution!
Long live British values!
Long live the People's Party, the Party of the Revolution, the Labour Party of Great Britain!