Histomat: Adventures in Historical Materialism

'Historical materialism is the theory of the proletarian revolution.' Georg Luk√°cs

Thursday, June 28, 2007

BB No. 10 - Meet the New Housemates!

It is day 1 in the Big Brother Downing Street House and today Gordon and Harriet have been joined by four brand shiny new housemates! How exciting! Lets meet them...

Name: Alistair

Favourite colour: Grey.
Occupation: Chancellor.
First Words in the House: 'Don't call me darling...I'm not your darling'
Life Philosophy: Careerism.
Likes: Owls.
Dislikes: Blackadder Goes Forth. Being called 'Captain' or 'Darling'.
Why BB?: 'I want the general public to see the real me'.

Name: Jack

Favourite colour: Grey.
Occupation: Justice Minister.
First Words in the House: 'I am the law'.
Life Philosophy: Authoritarianism / Careerism/ Making racism respectable.
Likes: State Repression. Margaret Thatcher. Illegal wars. Telling women what they can and cannot wear in public.
Dislikes: International Law. Cannabis. Students. Judges. Immigrants (esp. Muslims.) Liberals. Juries. Protesters.
Why BB?: 'I think I could learn a thing or two from Big Brother [evil laugh]'

Name: David

Favourite colour: Grey.
Occupation: Foreign Secretary.
First Words in the House: 'This is going to be like, so cool'.
Life Philosophy: Neo-Liberalism with a baby face. Careerism.
Likes: Watching Big Brother. Paris Hilton.
Dislikes: Any mention of the politics of his father, a towering giant of post-war British Marxism, Ralph Miliband.
Why BB?: 'I want to show off my personality and charisma to the world'.

Name: Hazel

Favourite colour: Orange.
Occupation: Secretary for Community
First Words in the House: 'This is going to be brilliant!'
Life Philosophy: Careerism with a happy shiny face.
Likes: Power.
Dislikes: Muslims.
Why BB?: 'I think Big Brother is brilliant - British culture at its best!'

What do you think of the housemates? Not impressed? Well, there will be more going into the house soon...

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