Queen not amused by expenses scandal

The Queen has informed Gordon Brown that she is 'deeply troubled' by the expenses scandal gripping Parliament. According to one source, 'She won't discuss individual MPs but she feels this scandal has done a lot of long-lasting damage. She is aware the public feel repulsed by this sort of thing. She is conscious there is a recession on.' Perhaps remembering the time she made a trip to the US costing £400,000 pounds and took a helicopter to the Kentucky Derby at a cost of £22,000 in 2007, she posed the pertinent questions everyone is asking: 'Whoever heard of dredging one's moat at taxpayer's expense? What contribution do these parasites living in luxury at the public's expense actually make to society? What do they actually do all day?'