Histomat Exclusive: Blair lands new job at The Hague

In a shock new development to all those who have followed the career of Anthony Charles Lynton Blair since leaving the office of Prime Minister of Great Britain, he has now landed another job - head of the International War Crimes Tribunal at The Hague in the Netherlands. Blair, lets recap, already has the following jobs:

1) Lecturing the people of the Middle East of the importance of not waging disastrous wars.
2) Lecturing rich American bankers JP Morgan on the importance of making money.
3) Lecturing Swiss insurers Zurich on cutting down on climate change.
4) Lecturing European political parties on how to restore popular trust in politics and politicians.

Yet now Blair has the job he describes as 'his biggest challenge yet' - trying to enforce the law to ensure international war criminals do not escape punishment for their crimes. He sounds eager to begin work, and already has a long list of people in his sights to track down and bring to justice. 'The biggest problem is often one of self-denial - war criminals often simply refuse to face up to the enormity of their crimes after leaving office' Blair told the Financial Times. 'But I am told the law is very clear on this matter - and I believe it is time we held those who start illegal wars and so kill hundreds of thousands, or even millions of people, to account. Indeed, such work is essential to securing peace in the medium and long term'.

When his bosses at Wall Street banking firm JP Morgan were asked if they were worried Blair's new job at The Hague might interfere with his work for them, they issued the following statement: 'Tony Blair is someone who strikes us as being completely and utterly committed to the world of investment banking, and his new job only adds to his international reputation and so his worth to us. We see him as a complete and utter banker'.