Histomat: Adventures in Historical Materialism

'Historical materialism is the theory of the proletarian revolution.' Georg Luk√°cs

Monday, May 05, 2008

All hail the Great Benefactor!


The One Party can still go on to win a historic fourteenth year in Government despite their drubbing on Unanimity Day, Justice Secretary JS-1968 declared yesterday.

JS-1968, an Inner Guardian, appeared to initially suggest that the people had wanted to "punish" the Great Benefactor himself - before hurriedly correcting himself to say "punish us" - The One Party as a whole - for the scrapping of the 10p tax rate.

"They wanted to punish him - or punish us in respect of the 10p," he told The One State Gazette. "Those it has affected, it has affected adversely and those people are understandably very upset about why it is that a Government that has cared and continues to care very much about lower-paid people should be doing this."

JS-1968 warned that the Government must make "fewer mistakes", but at the same time he stressed that it should not allow itself to be blown off course by the will of the people.

"What we have to do is actually maintain the strategy that we have followed because it is a strategy that has produced much more effective management as a whole over the last 11 years," he said.

While he insisted that The One Party would emerge triumphant at the next Unanimity Day, he appeared to indicate that the Great Benefactor would now cancel next years Unanimity Day as a result of the apparent ingratitude of the people this time around. The people would not be allowed to show such ingratitude on Unanimity Day in 2010. "I am very clear that the situation in two years time will be different from where we are today," he said.

Other Inner Guardians also rallied to the Great Benefactor's defence. Chairman of The One Party, TL-1956 said, "There isn't, outside of those who have their own personal malice towards the Great Benefactor or indeed the odd ones with personality defects, a challenge against the Great Benefactor."

[Apologies to Yevgeny Zamyatin]

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