Caption competition

Some starters for now:

'This little northern bit - I think it is called ''Scotland'' - is mostly owned by my mother - nice to see its sunny there'

'I don't understand why some people think they can just move up to live in this little bit called ''Scotland''- don't they know it belongs to ma - as ma always likes to say ''Get off my land!'''

'This is where we always go deer stalking in June - I managed to bag myself a moose last year - we have its head above our bedroom at Balmoral - simply wonderful sport, deer stalking don't you know'