Out now! The Enoch Powell Dog Whistle

Are you a Conservative MP or MEP who has recently taken a nose dive in the popularity stakes?

Maybe you recently accidentally on purpose declared that Britain's most popular institution, the NHS, was all a terrible 'mistake'?

Does everyone in your constituency now hate you with a rare vengeance?

Are you worried about whether you will survive the next election?

Then you maybe are in of need of...

The Enoch Powell Dog Whistle

'I used the Enoch Powell Dog Whistle and found it worked a treat. Before everyone hated me, but now at least racist voters respect me. The BNP even declared me their favourite 'politician of the week' - so I must be doing something right!'' - 'Desperate' Dan Hannan, Kent.