Mark Steel on British Citizenship

'[New Labour] ended up so modern they gave the job of reviewing British citizenship to Lord Goldsmith, who's concluded everyone should undergo a ceremony in which they pledge an oath of allegiance to the Queen. This is so advanced the rest of Europe only abandoned it 200 years ago. So there are probably other bits of his report, not yet published, which go: "Loyal British citizenship will be enhanced by dismantling the system of local government, and replacing it with a network of barons. A sense of modern national unity will be advanced if citizens, who shall also be known as 'serfs', kneel before them on the third Sunday of each month and offer them their wives as chattel. This measure, I feel, should bring about a rapid decrease in the practice of city centre binge-drinking." One of the questions in the British Citizenship test asks what you should do in the event of someone spilling your drink in the pub. So from now on the correct answer will be: "Challenge them to a duel."'

Full article hammering New Labour and 'Britishness' here. See also this article on 'loyalty oaths'.